This article is one of several concerning the importance of Mental Health and Christianity, researched and written by Mrs. Andrina Jordan (MA, LPC, NCC, CPCS). For more information about her practice, visit 712 Q.A.C.C. Counseling For The Soul, LLC.

“But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his
mercies.” – Lamentations 3:32, KJV

Grief is a normal emotion. Even Jesus experienced grief. Grief is not only a feeling that is
experienced after the death of a loved one, but also a loss of anything that was of value to
someone. For example, the loss of a pet, house fire, loss of a job, terminal diagnosis, etc.
According to Elizabeth Kübler Ross there are 5 stages of grief. Elizabeth Kübler Ross was a
Swiss-American psychiatrist. She was a pioneer in near-death studies and the author of a book
titled, On Dying And Death. While her research is not scientifically based and receives some
criticism, it is a good base for individuals to begin to identify what they may be feeling.

● Anger
● Depression
● Bargaining
● Denial
● Acceptance

Experiencing these stages do not happen in any specific chronological order. In fact, one may
bounce in and out of these five stages, experience a couple at the same time or may not
experience some of them at all. Grief looks different for everyone. The duration for some may be
days or weeks and for others it may be months or years. Identifying grief and learning to walk
through it in the healthiest way possible is what is important.
Jesus says that there is a season for everything. This includes death and loss.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which
is planted;  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away
stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from
embracing;  A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  A time to
rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time
to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, KJV

When Jesus’s friend Lazarus died, Lazarus’s sister, Martha, appeared to express anger toward
Jesus for not being there. She believed if Jesus had been physically present with them that her
brother would not have died.

“Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.” – John
11:21, KJV

When Jesus saw Mary crying over the death of Lazarus, he too was grieved.

“ When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he
groaned in the spirit, and was troubled. And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him,
Lord, come and see. Jesus wept.” – John 11: 33-35, KJV

In the story of Job, everything was taken from Job except his wife and his life. He lost his
children, servants and livestock. His wealth was taken and he was stricken with illness. I guess
it’s pretty safe to say that Job probably suffered symptoms of depression. Even bargaining at
some point for God to just let him die so he would no longer have to suffer such deep grief.

“Oh that my grief were throughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together! For
now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea: therefore my words are swallowed up.   For
the arrows of the Almighty are within me, the poison whereof drinketh up my spirit: the terrors
of God do set themselves in array against me.” – Job 6:1-4, KJV

“Oh that I might have my request; and that God would grant me the thing that I long for!   Even
that it would please God to destroy me; that he would let loose his hand, and cut me off!   Then
should I yet have comfort;” Job 6:8-10, KJV

Jesus, knowing that he would soon be crucified and full of sorrow also appears to bargain with
God the father. In the same breath Jesus also understands the will of God and therefore,
accepts what must be done.

“And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be
possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” – Matthew
26:39, KJV

“Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul
an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of
the LORD shall prosper in his hand.” – Isaiah 53:10, KJV

This verse, Isaiah 53:10 is just a small reminder that even though we don’t always understand
God’s plan, sometimes the cause of our grief occurs to glorify God.
The bible shows us that grief is a normal part of life. It also offers many comforting scriptures as
a source of strength and hope for those who may be grieving. Here are just a few.

 “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a
contrite spirit.” – Psalms 34:18, KJV

Below you will find additional resources that specialize in grief and loss for those who may be
grieving.

1. Actively Moving Forward AMF (A HealGrief Program) This is an app that you can
   download on your electronic devices for additional support. The logo is a hummingbird.
2. www.missfoundation.org – The MISS Foundation is an international 501c3, volunteer-based organization providing C.A.R.E. [counseling, advocacy, research, and education]
   services to families experiencing the death of a child.

TIPS FOR SELF-CARE WHILE GRIEVING
♦ Breathe: Slow down, take some deep breaths and relax
♦ Focus on the positive: Express gratitude for what is going well in your life
♦ Connect with others: Don’t isolate; interact with friends and family for support
♦ Journal: Get your emotions out on paper; cry if you need to (this is a good release)
♦ Be Kind To Yourself: Allow yourself the time and space to grieve. Don’t suppress your
emotions. Don’t rush the process. Do something nice for yourself that brings you joy.
♦ Pray: Trust in God and lean not on your own understanding
Remember grief looks different for everyone. They say time heals all wounds. This may or may
not be true but eventually, it does become a little easier with each passing day. I hope this
information has been helpful and wish you well on your journey toward healing.