This article is another installment concerning the importance of Mental Health and Christianity, researched and written by Mrs. Andrina Jordan (MA, LPC, NCC, CPCS). For more information about her practice, visit 712 Q.A.C.C. Counseling For The Soul, LLC.

Did you know that the word “love” is mentioned 442 times in the King James Bible? Pretty impressive huh? Why is this word mentioned so many times? It must be very important. God must really desire for us to know and understand what love is. Why? Because he understands the blessings that come with loving God and loving one another.

So, what is love exactly? Love is not only a noun but it is also a verb. Here are a few definitions of love.

Webster’s Dictionary says . . .

Love noun: “1: a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person”

Love verb: “1: to hold dear : CHERISH”

My Definition: Love is the act of being selfless; putting another’s needs and well-being before your own. Love is sacrifice. It is a choice.

According to the word of God this is love (see below).

God’s Definition:

^“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things”. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, KJV

Love is not just a fluffy emotion or feeling of affection that elicits butterflies in our stomachs or joy when we see someone. God is love!

“He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” – 1 John 4:8, KJV

Most people correlate the month of February with Valentine’s Day. The month of love. A time to express the love that one has for their significant other. Unfortunately, the origins of Valentine’s Day are not rooted in love but in paganism. Click on the link below to read an article from Good News Magazine on the origins of Valentine’s Day.

https://www.ucg.org/the-good-news/st-valentine-cupid-and-jesus-christ

Mark 7: 7-9, 13 (KJV) says: “Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do. And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition. Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.”

Valentine’s Day is one of those vain traditions. Why are we not showing love to one another every day? Jesus says that the first great commandment is. . .

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  – Matthew 22: 37 KJV (also stated in Deuteronomy 6:5 KJV

The second greatest commandment is . . .

“Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” – Matthew 22:39 KJV

Well, how do we know if we truly love God? In the bible Jesus says,

“If ye love me, keep my commandments.” – John 14:15 KJV

Being that the 10 commandments are considered the royal law, let’s focus our attention there for a minute. The first four commandments instruct us on how to love God (Exodus 20:3-5, 7-11 KJV). The last six of the ten commandments instruct us on how to love one another (Exodus 20:12-17). Simply put, we love God if we keep his commandments.

“He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.”  John 14:21 KJV

So let’s dive into how loving one another impacts our mental health. Exodus 20:12 says,

“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” – Exodus 20:12 KJV

We love our parents by honoring them. In doing so, God provides us with longevity. There is definitely a correlation in how we treat others, how others treat us, and the longevity of life! In general, studies have shown that married couples seem to live longer than single individuals. This is probably due to the fact that a healthy married couple is in continuous support of one another. They can hold each other accountable to healthier lifestyle practices, reducing stress levels. Studies have shown lower substance abuse among married couples versus singles and less depression. However, these benefits also ring true for those single individuals who have close intimate relationships with friends and family. For example, premature babies have difficulty thriving if they are not shown love through touch and conversation. This is why many hospitals encourage skin-to-skin contact with newborns. It is imperative for the infant’s psychological development. Without love, nurturing, touch, and conversation a baby is at a predisposition to develop depression, social-emotional instability or reactive attachment disorder (RAD).  Infants who are shown love tend to exhibit more resilience, have better stress responses, develop healthier sleep patterns, form healthy attachments to others, have better social-emotional development, and display better cognitive control.

Many mental health issues stem from trauma. Oftentimes those traumas involve some type of abandonment. Abandonment can make one feel unloved. Feeling unloved may push someone to contemplate suicide or even follow through, taking their own life prematurely. One might engage in self-harm behaviors, produce low self-esteem, experience chronic stress, and/or symptoms of depression and anxiety in the absence of love. If you or someone you know is in crisis, contact a local mental health professional, go to their nearest emergency hospital.

The last five of the ten commandments are as follows:

“Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” Exodus 20: 13-17, KJV

These commandments teach us how to have self-control, respect for ourselves and others, respect for others’ belongings, integrity, how to set healthy boundaries, healthy decision making, rebukes envy, and produces patience. Most people who obtain mental health services will address one or more of these skills or values at some point during their treatment. In doing these simple acts we express true love toward one another.

“Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:” 1 Peter 3:8, KJV

Let’s not forget about self-love. Often, we forget to take the time to love ourselves. We get so busy with all of our daily tasks and responsibilities.  We try to keep up with the rat race. We work hard to please our employers. We reach out to help and support friends and family. We volunteer in the community. We participate in church ministries. We raise children and cater to spouses. Only to realize that we have not taken time to care for ourselves.

Loving self creates an awareness of one’s worth and value. This in turn produces a healthy self-esteem. An individual will be more likely to respect their own body if they feel good about self. Therefore, one will be less likely to engage in substance abuse, self-harm behaviors, risky behaviors and suicidal ideation. Someone who loves themselves tends to set healthy boundaries, have healthier relationships, is less likely to suffer from depression, and is often more resilient.

Here are some ways that you can practice loving yourself:

• Set healthy boundaries
• Learn to say “no”
• Exercise
• Eat healthy
• Engage in a hobby
• Spend time with loved ones
• Spend time with God
• Address health concerns when you first notice them
• Acknowledge your successes
• Be kind to yourself
• Forgive yourself
• Forgive others (forgiveness is not just for the other person but for your well-being)

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32 KJV

Remember: “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” 1 John 5:3 KJV

God is LOVE!